My sister’s husband has Alzheimer’s. One time when she came to visit she told me that the most burdensome thing about being a caregiver was making every single decision. She had to remember their anniversary, decide what to get for him, decide what he would get for her, and decide how they would celebrate. She was making countless decisions, and she was exhausted.

The caregiver role is relentless. There is not much I can do to make my sister’s life better in a practical way, but when she came to visit I stopped asking her what she wanted. I began to decide everything: what to serve her for breakfast, when she would take a nap, whether we were going to a party, and what kind of tea I would pour for her on the porch. The Bossy Spa was born.

Her husband’s condition now makes it impossible for my sister to travel to visit me at The Bossy Spa. I miss the weekends together where I can give my sister a small break.

I decided to replicate the Bossy Spa experience online. It cannot be the same kind of nurturing as serving my sister a pot of autumn chai on the porch, but it is something I can do to reach across the miles between us.

The Bossy Spa online is a place for caregivers to come to rest, to enjoy, to laugh, to cry, to be heard, and to be understood. It is not a place for legal advice, medical updates, or practical nursing tips. There are other places for that sort of thing.

If you have a real sister who lives nearby and can give you an actual hug, visit her. Otherwise, stop by the Bossy Spa for a short break when you have the time.


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