Grumpy

My English lavender has never bloomed. I know it’s happy because I planted a tiny sprig that I got at the grocery store, and it spread to a large clump. I have no idea why it does not bloom, and several internet searches have failed to shed light on the situation. I had hoped it would flower to provide nectar and pollen for my bees, but I am content to grow the plant for its beautiful frosty color and spikey texture.

When I stooped to take this picture of my lavender for you, surprise! I almost missed the grasshopper resting in the leaves. He patiently posed, no doubt assuming it was his handsome physique that inspired me to take the shot and catapult him to internet fame.

Encountering a grasshopper when I had originally hoped for flowers is an experience my favorite caregivers, and yes you are one, can relate to. Sometimes when you wish for one thing, you get something else. If you are a caregiver this has certainly happened to you because we both know that you did not wish for the life that you have right now. And here it is.

Some parts of your life are not too bad, and you may feel like you should focus on the good parts, but caregiving is too insistent to permit this. So let’s work together on this and divide the roles. I will be grateful for my grasshopper, who is rather charming, although not the flower I had wished for. You can go ahead and be grumpy if there are things in your life to be grumpy about.

Write them down, these grump-inspiring things. Share them in the comments. When you let out the grumps, and number them, and put them into words, you’ll find that some of them lessen in intensity. You may even find one or two disappear. Grumps that originate within you are within your power to set down and simply not pick up again. Grumps that life hands you are stickier. Go ahead, share what makes you grumpy.

3 thoughts on “Grumpy

  1. Today is a very grumpy day. Things making me grumpy:
    1. My job for the middle and long term is being threatened by various budget cuts.
    2. I am getting a biopsy in two weeks which will probably be fine, but is still a source of stress.
    3. I am scheduled for jury duty in three weeks, and being a caregiver is no excuse, since I still work.
    4. I just found out my husband has been dismissing our neighbor, who has been gracious enough to help with caregiving, so that my Tuesdays are not covered. (And lying to me about it. He cannot remember that he ate 5 minutes ago, but he can remember enough to lie about what he did today.)
    5. On Monday, my husband has suggested getting a divorce because he wants more intimacy.
    6. My husband’s condition has deteriorated significantly over the last month. His paid caregiver is giving him all kinds of tinctures and herbal teas, which may or may not be compatible with the supplements I am giving him. So I have made the decision to taper off the supplements, which makes me feel like a bad person.
    7. I am overwhelmed.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That’s not considering the other long term things, like that my husband’s disability is going to be cut by quite a bit and we will owe money back, and that I need to figure out whether or not I should get him declared incompetent or whether he can just consent to that so I can manage his separate finances more easily and oh, yes, that I ache like I am coming down with the flu, although I know it’s just stress. Oh yes, and my feet hurt when I walk, at least when I do so without being careful. (And I have so much extra energy to spend being careful!) Grumpy enough for you?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You win the grumpy contest. I like how you just laid it all out there.

      Liked by 1 person

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